The Donadoni Academy analyzed some formative data this week.

Turns out that ice cream is an acceptable replacement for syrup on chocolate chip pancakes, 100% of the time. 98% of the time when the dog has to take a walk and no one volunteers to do so, he pees on someone’s clothes. Approximately 56% of the students have experienced some form of gastrointestinal distress from eating too many sour patch kids. When one or more of the students are absent the Academy is 200% quieter than when they are home. Attendance rates are higher on days when bacon is on the menu for breakfast, or pizza is served for lunch. Attendance drops in the afternoon when the temperatures get higher than 48 degrees, about 90% of the time. Also, 50% of the academy remembers to put the toilet seat down after using the bathroom. 25% fail to put the towel back on the rack after they pretend to wash their hands. 75% of the students prefer to wake up without having ice water dumped on them, although 100% dislike the Olympic Theme blasted on the speakers at 6am.

That’s about it for now. Too much college basketball to watch to upload anymore data to analyze.

Thanks for Coming!