Principal Donadoni got stuck at the office. And, so has everyone else who has entered the office the last two weeks. In fact, if it weren’t for duct tape, who knows how many more people would have been stranded in despair in the most popular and frequented room in the Academy.

Apparently, the doorknob deity had decided to do us a dastardly deed. And that was to stop the knob from functioning properly. And when that happens, you are in a jam. Courtesy of the damned jammed door jamb. Frustration set in. Because not every administrator is as handy with a screwdriver as they are with a lesson plan or lunch duty schedule.

So, when you realize that you are stuck in Hotel California where you can enter but never leave…frustration and fear set in. Not slowly either. The hopelessly horrifying moment you realize you are locked in a bathroom (even though it’s a safe place to be, really) and the door won’t open, is terrifying. And unfortunately when you wiggle, jiggle, and jimmy and curse and it still doesn’t work you start looking around for an alternate means of escape. Because I am sure the neighbors wouldn’t see you climbing out of your bathroom window. Is this why you should never put something on the stove and then go to the bathroom or is that just my own PTSD? Either way, I had to remember that I am the Principal of the Academy so I must remain calm. No matter what. I mean, I have withstood massive food fights with chairs being thrown across tables circa early 2000’s at Marshall, early morning kitchen fires at Belmonte, and lockdowns in schools with violent offenders on the loose. So, how bad can it be to be stuck in your own bathroom?

When I first noticed the faulty doorknob 3 weeks ago I thought after taking it apart and saying a Hail Mary that it was all set. I was wrong. Next, I had the Head of Maintenance and My Sanity check it out to make sure a new one was needed.

I did not want to have to go before the School Committee and ask for money if I didn’t have to. But, after I told the school committee about the problem they were quick to fork over the funds, and supply a new doorknob with complete faith that I could replace it. I am glad that they have faith in me. The Assistant Principal had faith in me too. But I knew better.

After a couple hours of tinkering and tinkering with the parts, I believed I had the new knob properly installed. In fact, it looked perfect. Flush to the wood, working fine, and even the lock worked. And I had the lock on the correct side of the door. Miracles never cease. But wait.

Whenever I “build” something or put it together, mysteriously, there are always parts left over. I am never sure why. Sometimes whatever it is I am putting together even looks and operates correctly. Flawlessly. But still, parts remain. I think it’s just a sign of our over abundant culture that we always have more than what we need. But some may disagree. In the Case of the Beautiful New Knob though, all parts were accounted for.

There seemed to be just one problem with my Rose of a Knob. One of the screws was not fulfilling it’s obligation to go all the way into the place it was designed to. So it sticks out a bit. Which means that the perfect knob has just a little flaw. Or. A thorn. Because if you are in a rush to open the door you may scrape your knuckle on the screw. But hey, every rose has it’s thorn right?

Here’s hoping vacation will give the Academy staff time to fix up any other lingering mechanical flaws. And time to ask for help. I can’t wait to put up the new basketball pole. I don’t SEE any problems with that. But stay tuned. Because I don’t see…all that well. Onwards and upwards!

Thanks for Coming!