I get my inspiration from many places. But the best place for me to be able to see the light and feel total elation or feel …electric, on fire, free, powerful, or simply rejuvenated and free of debris…is the bathroom. Or in my castle, it is the bathroom / laundry room, And no, that is not just because the Real Boss also finds solace in the rhythm, hum and tumble of the laundry room. But it works out well, as we air our dirty laundry in the bowels of our bathroom. But, listen- my Twin is in the house so I must not be so gross. I told her the other day that she is special too. Because She is the only one who knows what I was like before I saw the light. We shared a room, I mean a womb, and now I clearly see that the gestation vacation perhaps changed her view of going on vacations with her brother ever again. I understand her pain.

Which brings me back to the bathroom inspiration beginning. As my first classroom where I learned to read, the bathroom has always been a special place for me. I am not trying to be gross, or unworthy of your unsoiled hands as you read this, I am just saying that I feel a connection to the throne upon which we sit when we need to do our due. Is that supposed to be spelled doo? I am never sure how to spell do, doo doo or due…kinda like the to, too…never mind. As I was saying, we went on a Maine vacation together.

It was supposed to be a 7 day stay at a finely outfitted cabin with plenty of nature and peace and quiet and a lake and yet close enough to civilization that credit cards get abused at outlets and it seemed perfect. Our kids would bond, and the Real Boss and my Twin and I would bond and relax. And I am sure that the children will have a different version of this magical time frame we speak of, but this is my blog- so I am giving you my point of view…

And, perfect is exactly what it was. As the Real Boss and I cruised up the highway we were giddy with glee and nostalgia as we reflected on our journey the past 20 plus years. Plus, my sister had the kids in her car and we were going to be alone for like 2 plus hours. (I stretched the trip out by secretly drinking too much water so I had to pee, thus a stop was required…adding to the honeymoon time. See, I am no dummy. People think I just walk into life. No, it takes a lot of planning and I move with purpose. And prayer…

Where was I? Oh ya- we were thrilled to be having some quality time. And then…well, let’s just say the bliss of family and fun and peace was great, but, and there was a butt. It started when we arrived and checked out the waterfront. The kids took off for the water and my sister, bride and I chose the raised deck to sit on. Sadly, the chair I elected to sit on to watch the kids canoe, decided to give me a lift. I was not prepared for a lift, or a ride, or a fall. Yet when the front legs of the chair flipped over, I experienced it. On my back. The Maine sky looked peaceful. But the wind was knocked out of the sails of my sailboat if you know what I mean.

When I got back up to restore what might have been left of my dignity, my twin and bride were in tears. Of laughter. When the expected, “Are you ok?”, was replaced by, “What are you doing?” I realized I was not going to get sympathy. Nor were the kids running to my rescues as they were too busy howling out on the canoe. I am surprised they did not tip over…but I guess they had good luck. That’s good. I did not. But if there’s anything I know, it’s how to keep rowing my boat- even if I can’t find my Crocs and Crutches. Oh well. There’s always next season, right Red Sox fans?

Meanwhile back at the Academy, Prince Alexander was holding the fort down with Wally and the Cats. So as I was contemplating life’s many pleasures and admiring the bountiful ragweed around the cabin, the young man I call son was tending to his own dreams and duties. He did not yet know how he would become a hero in this salvation story.

Back to Maine… first night, after the flip, was peaceful yet, painful. Ya see, because my bones and joints do not handle mattresses made of S’mores very well. S;mores, but without the graham cracker. Or chocolate. Just mush. Nope. My finely tuned dad bod was not gonna be smiling anymore. I felt like I was squished and uncomfortably unable to do anything more than groan and moan and that’s when I picked up my phone.

After a couple of days of hopping around the one couch town that was to be my home for the week, I realized the dream-cation with my twin was not going to be a win. I was hoping to salvage a draw. But, as I sat on the sweaty seat of inspiration in the cabin, I decided it was time to call on Alexander the Great to come rescue me from this fate.

So he did. Donny’s Jim will always be in first place in my heart. The owner- Alex is my son and hero after all. I would also like to add a Captain’s Nod to BK for his part in this great play. But for the rest of you- suffice it to say, be good to your children…You never know when you will need them to save you from your own greatest ideas. Or give you a much needed ride home from a sticky, painful plight. Just sayin’. Be careful. I know I am…not. So maybe you should be…

To answer my fan mail, yes I am ok from my backwards fall. My right leg continues to heal as is my left shoulder. It is a good thing it is summer so I have time to rest- assuming I stay in my protective bubble. We were blessed to have my lil bro and fam visit Wally’s beach without incident. Hopefully, the coming of the OG’s will go smoothly as well. In the meantime, yes I will be in my chair, hammock, pool and when necessary for inspiration or bodily functions – the bathroom.

Thanks again, Alex for saving me. I will be sure to add a bonus to your account. If you see him at Whole Foods, smile and thank him again for me. I know my first words to him the other day were, “THANKS FOR COMING!”